Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-Mark Twain
Don’t go around saying the world owes y…
An honest man in politics shines more th…
An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere.
-Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail lear…
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
-Mark Twain
I want my children to have all the thing…
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
-Phyllis Diller
I never made Who’s Who but I’m feature…
I never made Who’s Who but I’m featured in What’s That.
-Phyllis Diller
If it weren’t for baseball, many kids w…
If it weren’t for baseball, many kids wouldn’t know what a millionaire looked like.
-Phyllis Diller
Cleaning your house while your kids are …
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller
It’s not what you pay a man, but what h…
It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
-Will Rogers
There’s two theories to arguing with a …
There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
-Will Rogers
I would hate to be an atheist. They have…
I would hate to be an atheist. They have no one to thank.
-Mark Lowry
Love the sinner, hate the sin? How about…
Love the sinner, hate the sin? How about: Love the sinner, hate your own sin!
-Mark Lowry
Happiness is a roller-coaster ride, cont…
Happiness is a roller-coaster ride, contentment is falling backwards into Grandma’s feather bed.
-Mark Lowry
I do one sit up a day. I get up in the m…
I do one sit up a day. I get up in the morning, that’s the first half. I lay down at night, that’s the other half.
-Mark Lowry
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been sprin…
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been sprinkled or dunked; if you don’t know Jesus, you just got wet.
-Mark Lowry
It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness…
It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.
No one cares how much you know, Auntil t…
No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care!
